If someone asked me to describe in four simple words how they could achieve wealth, health, and happiness, my answer would be easy: ask the right questions for success. When we ask ourselves good questions, it leads us to make better decisions as to where and how to spend our time. When we fail to ask the right questions, we can easily fall prey to mechanical routines, other people’s goals, and a life of unhappiness. When it comes to taking charge of your time and your life, asking the right questions can be the answer you’ve been looking for.
I created a list of five questions that seemed the most valuable in gently guiding people back to the life they truly desired. I have found that answering these questions once a month can be an amazingly efficient way to create the life you really want. When answering these questions, it’s best to say your answers out loud to a mate, friend, or co-worker. Another option is to write down what you have to say in a journal. Somehow, saying the answers out loud or writing things down has more impact than simply thinking them in your head.
For each of the five questions that follow, I give a brief description of why it can be useful to ask yourself—or those you love—this question once a month.
1) What can I do this week to bring more fun and/or meaning into my life?
As adults, most of us get lost in daily routines, problems, and plans. Yet, as children, life was very different. We’re not born into this world as planners and problems solvers, but rather as bundles of playful energy. This question can help remind you to schedule something each week to bring fun and/or meaning into your life. It will help provoke your thinking as to what you currently find fun or meaningful, and help you keep these things as priorities in your life
2) What could I feel grateful for in my life?
This may seem like a strange question to get your life in order, but it’s important to remember what is going great in your life. If you focus only on what’s wrong with your life, you’ll always be thinking about problems. Part of living a successful life means focusing on what’s going well, and feeling grateful for how blessed you are.
3) How can I use the gifts I’ve been given to better serve people?
If you want to make a lot of money, get good at giving people what they want. If you want love, become skillful at caring for people. Whatever you want in life, you can receive it by becoming good at serving people. This question will help you to consistently ponder how you can do this more effectively.
4) Is there anything I’m doing that is hurting myself, other people, or steering me off course?
When planes fly to a destination, they are of course over 90% of the time. However, they almost constantly correct their course, so they end up where they’re supposed to be. We need to do likewise. When people make mistakes, they often spend a lot of time in blame, self-pity, or distraction. That just makes matters worse. Instead, what we need to do is quickly realized when we’re off course, and immediately take the actions necessary to get back on track
5) What would be good to do to create more balance, harmony or growth in my life?
To answer this question, it helps to access your intuition, or still, small voice inside. Perhaps there has been something you’ve been avoiding, and this question will help you realize it’s time to move forward. Whenever possible, try to be specific with your answer and the new action(s) you plan to take. Insights are helpful, but only changes in actual behavior are likely to lead to the results you desire.
These five questions are an easy, quick, and powerful way to gain important insights that will help you to plan your time wisely. Rather than waiting until a problem is big, these questions will help you to handle things when they’re small and easily handled. By writing your answers in a journal, or taking turns answering these questions with a friend, you can help each other create the life you truly desire.
Why do people travel half way around the world to visit a place such as Disneyland, pay $125 to get in, and stand in line for an hour for a three minute ride? Because, as human beings, we crave peak moments. The desire for an intense, special, extraordinary experience is one of our deepest desires. That’s one of the major reasons why we like sex, falling in love, winning a big game, and weddings. Yet, peak moments need not be reserved for such major events. You can learn to create them in daily life with people you care about. Once you learn the skill of creating special times for other people, your relationships will never be the same. People will want to know you, do business with you, and even marry you because you know how to create a sense of aliveness wherever you are. There are four key concepts that can help you create more peak moments with your friends, mate, 
Perhaps the most important thing a human being can learn is how to quickly let go of negative thought patterns and emotions and quickly return to the peace and love that’s hidden behind our turbulent minds. Once you can do this well, everything in your life changes. In my exploration of how doing this effectively, I’ve tried a lot of things. One of my absolute favorite ways to quickly return to a place of peace (after being upset) is to use something called “The Sedona Method.” What follows is a mini-course on the Sedona Method. If you try this out and like it, I recommend that you get the book “The Sedona Method,” so you can get a better understanding of this truly effective and simple technique. 
I’ve been reading recently about how important a good night’s sleep is for feeling happy during the day and being productive in life. Unfortunately, about 30% of Americans suffer from chronic insomnia and/or sleep deprivation. In our fast paced world, many people try to do with as little sleep as possible, but then end up suffering emotional and health effects from getting too little sleep.
It’s that time of the year again to make resolutions. Instead of making them and then breaking them like most people do, why not put some punch behind your resolutions? I helped invent a method that practically guarantees your resolutions will be kept. The technique, which I call the Integrity Contract, helps people stay motivated when the going gets tough. After all, it is only people who are consistent over a long period who ultimately succeed in life
Once you have an idea of what you’d like to experience during the Holidays, your next step is to figure out creative ways to avoid what you don’t like about Christmas. For example, if you don’t enjoy running around buying a lot of presents, then don’t. Most people ask themselves the wrong question when it comes to planning their Christmas. Subconsciously, they think, “What should I do now that it’s the Holiday Season?” If you “should” all over yourself, you’ll never enjoy Christmas. Instead, it’s better to ask yourself, “What would I love to do to spread joy and good cheer this time of year?” Listen to your own unique answer to that question. By following your heart, you’ll feel the joy of
Plan ahead for something that you’d truly like to do. If you’re not spending the Holidays with your family, call some friends and see if they’re available. Perhaps you can create a meal together, play a fun board game such as Pictionary or Monopoly, or simply have a meaningful conversation. In my book The Little Book of Big Questions, I offer readers over 200 questions that can spark lively conversations and help keep the Spirit of Christmas alive.
As a psychotherapist, I often counsel couples who frequently argue. Early in my career, I tried to help these people with communication techniques aimed at helping them be more open with each other. Yet, it rarely worked. They would simply forget the method and continue with their verbal attacks. When I realized couples behave like hurt infants when they get into a fight, I asked myself, “What helps crying infants to feel better?” The answer was obvious–they like to be held. As parents gently hold their baby, the baby soon feels better. Before you know it, the infant is giggling and happy. I wondered if a similar approach might work with adults. After much trial and error, I found something that works even better than I expected. I call it “The Spoon Tune.”
while in a spooning position, breathe in unison with your mate. Generally, it is best for the bigger partner to follow the breath of the smaller partner. When the smaller person inhales, the other partner should inhale. When the smaller partner exhales, the other should exhale. Hold each other and breathe in unison like this for at least four minutes. Do not say anything. As soon as your mind wanders, focus once again on breathing in unison with your partner.
Once you begin the Spoon Tune, no talking allowed. If possible, find a place to lie down together. If that is not possible “spoon” standing up. The key to doing this method successfully is to breathe together. As you breathe together, try to focus on and be present with each breath. Use your breath as a meditation. By focusing on your breath as it goes in and out in rhythm with your partner’s breath, you will feel more peaceful, safe, and connected, spoon for at least three minutes.
I recently took an online course called “Awakening Joy.” It was quite good, maybe even as good as my own online course called “
For example, today I was playing with my dog and we were both having a great time. Then, when she was done with playing, she came over to cuddle with me in my lap. We cuddled for a moment, and I enjoyed the feeling of petting her and feeling my deep love for her. Then after a minute, I had the thought, “What do I need to do next?” Of course, my “list” is never done, so there were plenty of things to do, but why did I need to curtail such a sweet moment so quickly? In fact, I did not have to, but I realized I have been trained by our culture to always be productive—even at the expense of hanging out with more moments of love, intimacy, and joy. Can you relate to this?
So having seen my own tendency to start thinking of my “to do” list in the midst of positive emotions, I have taken steps to go against it. Nowadays, when I see that I am curtailing a sweet and/or intimate moment, I try instead to stay with my positive experience. I take a deep breath and remind myself; nothing is more important than joyful moments. I attempt to “hang out” with such feelings until they naturally drift away.