Armed with the secret information I am about to reveal to you, you will soon have incredible power in making friends and business contacts. Since these human technologies are so powerful, I must first give you some warnings as to how to use them. Please don’t use the ideas I’m about to divulge as a way to manipulate people. If you do, people will eventually see through your charade. Instead, consider these tools for connecting with people as a way to extend your good, caring intentions. If you use these methods with good intentions, you and the people you connect with will be amply rewarded. Continue reading →
Jonathan Robinson
Jonathan Robinson is a psychotherapist, best-selling author of nine books, and a professional speaker from Northern California. He has reached over 250 million people around the world with his practical methods, and his work has been translated into 47 languages. Articles about Jonathan have appeared in USA TODAY, Newsweek, and the Los Angeles Times, as well as dozens of other publications. In addition, Mr. Robinson has made numerous appearances on the Oprah show and CNN, as well as other national TV talk shows. He has spent over 35 years studying the most practical and powerful methods for personal and professional development.
The Joy of Peak Moments
Why do people travel half way around the world to visit a place such as Disneyland, pay $125 to get in, and stand in line for an hour for a three minute ride? Because, as human beings, we crave peak moments. The desire for an intense, special, extraordinary experience is one of our deepest desires. That’s one of the major reasons why we like sex, falling in love, winning a big game, and weddings. Yet, peak moments need not be reserved for such major events. You can learn to create them in daily life with people you care about. Once you learn the skill of creating special times for other people, your relationships will never be the same. People will want to know you, do business with you, and even marry you because you know how to create a sense of aliveness wherever you are. There are four key concepts that can help you create more peak moments with your friends, mate, co-workers, and family. Continue reading →
How to Quickly Find Peace Using “The Sedona Method”
Perhaps the most important thing a human being can learn is how to quickly let go of negative thought patterns and emotions and quickly return to the peace and love that’s hidden behind our turbulent minds. Once you can do this well, everything in your life changes. In my exploration of how doing this effectively, I’ve tried a lot of things. One of my absolute favorite ways to quickly return to a place of peace (after being upset) is to use something called “The Sedona Method.” What follows is a mini-course on the Sedona Method. If you try this out and like it, I recommend that you get the book “The Sedona Method,” so you can get a better understanding of this truly effective and simple technique. Continue reading →
“Find Happiness Now” My New Book
While in school, John Lennon of the Beatles was asked by his teacher what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said he wanted to be happy. His teacher told John that he did not really understand the question. John Lennon told his teacher that he did not really understand Life! In fact, what we all really want is to be happy, but we’re taught that happiness comes from being successful—such as having a lot of money. Yet, recent research shows it’s the other way around: success comes from being truly happy. In fact, happy people make over $750,000 more dollars in their lifetime than unhappy people. In addition, they raise happier kids, live 9 years longer, and have half the rate of divorce of the “normal” population.
Fortunately, extreme happiness (or joy or fulfillment if you prefer) can be learned—if you know the right secrets. Best of all, it need not take a long time to learn. In my new book, “Find Happiness Now,” I reveal the most powerful and practical methods for creating more happiness in your life. In fact, most of the methods in the book can be done in under 2 minutes a day—yet their effect can change your life.
Many people struggle with stress, anxiety and depression—but they don’t need to. I certainly know about depression. In fact, depression not only runs in my family–it practically gallops! Yet, by interviewing some of the happiest people on Earth (the Dalai Lama, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and 35 others), I’ve learned simple ways to go from stressed-out to blissed-out in under a minute. You can too by picking up a copy of “Find Happiness Now.” Don’t put off the happiness you deserve any longer. Instead, Find Happiness Now at Amazon.com or your local bookstore…
How to Create a Deep Intimate Experience with a Loved One
In my book The Little Book of Big Questions I have a chapter called “The Spiritual Intimacy Experience.” It consists of fifteen questions partners can ask each other in order to develop a deeper connection. I received many letters from people stating that answering these questions with their mate led to the most profound experience of intimacy they had ever had.
Since Valentine’s Day is coming up, I thought it timely to give you this method for quickly deepening your level of intimacy with a mate or a friend. Continue reading →
Top 10 Tips for Great Sleep…
I’ve been reading recently about how important a good night’s sleep is for feeling happy during the day and being productive in life. Unfortunately, about 30% of Americans suffer from chronic insomnia and/or sleep deprivation. In our fast paced world, many people try to do with as little sleep as possible, but then end up suffering emotional and health effects from getting too little sleep.
In order to get a good night’s sleep, I’ve created a simple guide called “Ten Tips for a Good Night’s Sleep.” By following its guidelines, my hope is that you’ll experience a better quality of sleep each night, as well as more productive and happier days due to having rested well. Feel free to forward this on to people you care about who might want to improve their quality of sleep. By resting well each night, you’ll be in good shape to handle whatever life throws at you….
Ten Tips for a Good Night’s Sleep:
- Make your bedroom conducive to sleep: people sleep best in cool, dark, and quiet environments. Use a sleep mask or whatever is necessary to create as dark a room as possible.
- Create a sleep inducing routine: try taking a bath or shower before bed, or read a book, or some other non-stressful activity before going to bed.
- Avoid alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and energy drinks: caffeine can keep you awake even 6 to 8 hours after it’s ingested, so be especially careful about “hidden” caffeine in soda, chocolate, tea, and pain relievers.
- Know how to use the light at night: if possible, avoid highly lit screens an hour before going to bed, such as looking at a computer screen. If you read before going to bed, make the light a little dim.
- Keep a consistent sleep schedule: people sleep better when they go to sleep and wake up at roughly the same time each night and day. Try to sleep an amount of hours that truly works for you (8 is recommended).
- Nap before 5pm, or not at all: if you like naps, try taking a nap for less than 30 minutes, and make it before 5pm. If you still have trouble falling or staying asleep, try not napping and see how that affects your sleep.
- Don’t eat a big evening meal: finish dinner several hours before you go to sleep, don’t eat anything an hour before bedtime, and avoid foods that can cause indigestion.
- Exercise early in the day: While exercise during the day helps people to have a good night’s sleep, don’t exercise at least 3 hours before going to bed.
- Explore ways to quiet your mind: you can’t quickly stop a fast moving car; nor can you quickly stop a fast moving mind. Therefore, have a way of relaxing and dealing with stress during your day—before your mind builds up too much momentum.
- Avoid stimulating movies or TV before bed: Emotionally intense movies or shows can make it very hard to fall asleep for a couple of hours afterwards. Therefore, avoid such stimulation at least an hour before going to bed..
..and a Bonus Tip: Use what seems to work for you through trial and error: this can include supplements such as melatonin or “Midnite or Valerian, or things specific to you.
When you get the Winter blues…
During the winter months, a lot of people end up feeling more “down” than usual. In many cases, this can be due to the fact that they have what is called S.A.D. or Seasonal Affective Disorder. S.A.D. comes from not getting enough light and/or being indoors more than usual. Fortunately, S.A.D. is often easily remedied. Below I’ve written a brief guide to knowing if you might have Seasonal Affective Disorder, as well as some simple tips for overcoming it effectively.
Even if you personally don’t suffer from S.A.D., you probably have friends or family members who do. Feel free to pass this quick guide to overcoming it onto them… Continue reading →
How to Make New Year’s Resolutions that Work
It’s that time of the year again to make resolutions. Instead of making them and then breaking them like most people do, why not put some punch behind your resolutions? I helped invent a method that practically guarantees your resolutions will be kept. The technique, which I call the Integrity Contract, helps people stay motivated when the going gets tough. After all, it is only people who are consistent over a long period who ultimately succeed in life
In order to make consistent progress towards one’s goals, we need some form of immediate pain to occur if we fail to take appropriate action. If every time you failed to exercise three times a week you cut off a finger, you’d be a lot more consistent! Since no sane person would ever do that, you need to find an immediate pain you would be willing to give to yourself if you fail to act in beneficial ways. After much trial and error, I found a solution that worked. In the last fifteen years, I’ve taught the Integrity Contract method to thousands of people, and the results have been astounding. Here’s the essence of the technique:
Write a contract with yourself that states all the precise actions you’re willing to commit to do during the following week. Then write a statement that says, “For each of the items on this contract I fail to do by one week from today, I agree to rip up $2.” Finally, sign your contract, date it, and place it in a place you’ll see it every day. That’s it. Here’s an example of a simple contract:
“During the next week, I will exercise 3 times for a minimum of forty minutes. I will read a minimum of sixty pages from the book I got on investing. I will meditate for at least twenty minutes each day. For each task I don’t complete by January 7th, I will rip up $2.”
There are several reasons why this method is so effective. First, there is a clear proclamation of what you intend to do, and by when you intend to do it. Normally, people have a lot of lofty thoughts about what they could do to improve their life (aka New Year’s Resolutions), but these thoughts soon slip away. With the Integrity Contract method, you’ll have a visual reminder of what you’re committed to do. Second, with this technique, you’ll experience immediate pain if you fail to keep your word. Since your brain is always trying to avoid immediate pain, it will do its best to complete what’s on the contract.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s fine to not complete everything on your contract–as long as you rip up the money for the tasks you don’t finish. I’ve seen that, as long as people are willing to rip up money for failing to complete their contract, the method eventually works. Maybe not the first or second week, but by the third week you’ll find your mind screaming at you to complete whatever you wrote down.
Below is another example of how such a contract looks:
I, Jonathan, agree to do the following over the course of the next week:
a) Call five potential clients about my new seminar.
b) Wash my car, and put an ad in the paper to sell it.
c) Ask a friend to read my latest article and get their feedback.
d) Start a savings account to save money for a vacation to Europe.
For each of the above items I fail to complete by 5:00 p.m. next Thursday, I agree to rip up $2.
(date) (signature)________________________
Then put the contract in a place where you will see it daily. Bathroom mirrors are good. So are car dashboards. At the end of the week, evaluate how you did. If you did not complete any items on your contract, no matter what your excuse, tear up the appropriate amount of money.
Think of how quickly you could turn your goals into a reality if you made progress on them each week. Let this year be a year in which you keep your resolutions and your promises to yourself. People who have the patience to slowly but surely make progress on their goals are the people who succeed in life.
As an added way to make sure you get support to turn your New Year’s resolutions and dreams into reality, I am offering a Free teleconference call on January 2nd.
It’s called “The Best Ways to Increase Happiness
Lastly, feel free to pass this blog on to your friends and family. Wouldn’t it be great if they also started the New Year off on the right foot? Then, you could support each other towards making 2014 an amazing year of growth, love, and joy. By signing up for my free preview call and/or signing up for my “Happiness Through Great Relationships” Course, you’ll be giving your friends and family an opportunity to make 2014 their best year yet.
Sign up for FREE PREVIEW call here:
Finding Happiness Increase Happiness Through Great Relationships
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How to Really Enjoy the Holiday Season
‘It was the week before Christmas and in my own house I was frantic and hurrying, and felt like a louse. That was five years ago. That day I vowed I would never again get sucked into the hyped up of “Christmas Spirit.” Instead of running around, fighting traffic, and losing my temper with store clerks, I decided I would do whatever it takes to really enjoy the holidays. After all, it’s supposed to be a time of celebration and spiritual renewal. Why not make it into one? Of course, if you’re at all like I was, you’re going to have to change how you “do Christmas” if you ever hope to truly enjoy yourself. I’ve found that four simple keys can help people turn their hurried Holidays into heavenly Holy days.
First, try to remember the original purpose of the Holiday Season. Can you remember a Christmas memory from your childhood that was filled with joy, comfort, and love? That’s really what we all want to experience during the Holidays. Yet, sometimes it seems we’re being led down a fast flowing river that only leads to stress, insecurity, and even sadness. By having a clear picture of what a truly happy Holiday Season would be like, you have a fighting chance to create what you want.
Once you have an idea of what you’d like to experience during the Holidays, your next step is to figure out creative ways to avoid what you don’t like about Christmas. For example, if you don’t enjoy running around buying a lot of presents, then don’t. Most people ask themselves the wrong question when it comes to planning their Christmas. Subconsciously, they think, “What should I do now that it’s the Holiday Season?” If you “should” all over yourself, you’ll never enjoy Christmas. Instead, it’s better to ask yourself, “What would I love to do to spread joy and good cheer this time of year?” Listen to your own unique answer to that question. By following your heart, you’ll feel the joy of
Christmas, and enliven the Spirits of those you love.
A third way to keep the Spirit of the Holiday’s alive is to give a present to yourself. I don’t mean another sweater or necktie. I mean something that will help you to experience the joy, peace, and sacredness of life. Last year, my partner and I spent three days in Yosemite in the middle of December. Leaving the craziness of city life for the grandeur of nature was the best present possible for both of us. This year we plan to go to a desert resort. As we sink into a Jacuzzi bath while listening to Mozart, we’ll be sure to reminisce about the madness we left behind back home. What would be some treat you could give to yourself that would add meaning, joy, and relaxation to your winter season? Schedule it in now, before you get too swept up in the Christmas rush.
Lastly, to have a truly Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah
Plan ahead for something that you’d truly like to do. If you’re not spending the Holidays with your family, call some friends and see if they’re available. Perhaps you can create a meal together, play a fun board game such as Pictionary or Monopoly, or simply have a meaningful conversation. In my book The Little Book of Big Questions, I offer readers over 200 questions that can spark lively conversations and help keep the Spirit of Christmas alive.
Perhaps around a Christmas dinner you can ask your friends and family questions such as:
- What’s your favorite Christmas (or Hanukah) memory?
- What was one of the most special moments you experienced this past year?
- What are you truly grateful for in your life right now?
- What was the worst Christmas gift you ever received?
- What gives you a real sense of joy in life?
Asking questions like these to those you love can help bring intimacy and a sense of the sacred back into the Holiday Season. Your fondest Christmas memories are probably not of presents you’ve been given, but of the special times you’ve spent with people you cared about. Having a really good conversation with a friend or family member can be one of the best “gifts” you ever receive.
Although advertisements try to convince us otherwise, the Holiday Season is not a time of ease and joy for most of us. If you plan to have a good Christmas, you need to be deliberate about creating a sacred time with yourself and/or the people you care about. By following your own heart, and keeping true to the original purpose of the Season, you can make this your best Holiday ever.
How to Pray Without Ceasing
With Thanksgiving upon us, I thought it was a good idea to blog about giving thanks and the power of gratitude. In my book The Experience of God, I asked each of the forty well-known spiritual leaders I interviewed about their favorite method of feeling closer to their Creator. While the range of responses was surprising, the answer I heard more than any other was that of focusing on feeling grateful to God throughout the day. As Ram Dass put it, “Gratitude opens your heart, and opening your heart is a wonderful and easy way for God to slip in.”
In Western culture, we often think of prayer as asking God for something. Yet, in many spiritual traditions, prayer is primarily considered a way of thanking God for the blessings in one’s life. Many years ago, I received an important lesson about “thankfulness prayer” from a Native American medicine man named Bear. As a condition of being interviewed about his life, Bear requested we meet at a location sacred to his tribe. Once there, he suggested that both of us begin by offering up a prayer to the Great Spirit. My simple prayer was that our time together be well spent, and that it would serve our becoming closer to God. The bear began his prayer in his native tongue, as I listened patiently. After ten minutes of listening to the sounds of his tribal language, I began getting impatient. After twenty minutes of listening to his prayer, I was secretly irritated. While I grew restless, Bear looked like he was soaring as high as the eagles that flew overhead. Finally, after fifty minutes, Bear finished speaking his words of prayer.
Trying to hide my sense of irritation, I began my interview by asking Bear, “What did you pray for?” Bear’s calm reply was, “In my tribe, we don’t pray for anything. We give thanks for all that the Great Spirit has given us. In my prayers, I simply thanked Spirit for everything I can see around me. I gave thanks to each and every tree I can see from here, each rock, each squirrel, the sun, the clouds, my legs, my arms, each bird that flew by, each breath I took, until I was finally in full alignment with the Great Spirit.” It was clear to me that this man really knew how to pray.
From Bear’s inspiration and the wisdom of many others
I’ve interviewed, I began trying this new method of prayer. To make this form of prayer in my daily life, I began by simply saying, “Thank you God for (whatever is in my awareness).” Sometimes I would “prime the pump” by first thanking God for things that are easy for me to feel grateful for. For example, I might say, “Thank you for my health. Thank you for such a beautiful day. Thank you for my wonderful wife.” Then, once I truly felt a sense of gratitude in my heart, I would use “thank you” as a “mantra” for whatever I was currently aware of. For instance, if I was driving somewhere I might say, “Thank you for my car, thank you for my Iphone, thank you for this beautiful music, thank you for this nicely paved road, thank you for the man that just cut me off, thank you for the anger that he stirred up in me, thank you for the opportunity to practice forgiveness.”
The secret of this technique is to see all things as gifts given to us by God to enjoy or learn from. Normally, we take virtually everything for granted, and rarely stop to appreciate the wonderful things we are given. It can be eye opening to realize that even middle class folks of today live better than Kings lived just 100 years ago. Yet, without the “thank you technique,” all the amenities of modern day life can go unappreciated.
Once you have used this method for awhile, you can even use it to begin to value things that are unpleasant. In the example above, getting cut off by an aggressive driver was not my idea of a good time. Yet, if I’m doing my “thank you” mantra, I’m more likely to see how such an event can serve me. From a higher state of mind, I can see that this driver is helping me learn patience, compassion, and forgiveness—three things I’m not very good at. Fortunately, there are many drivers and people who are willing to help me learn this lesson! Thank you God for all that help.
Like any mantra or phrase that a person repeats, repeatedly saying “thank you” can build up a momentum of its own as you use it throughout the day. However, it’s important that it doesn’t become a mechanical mental exercise. With each thank you that is thought, it’s essential to feel a sense of appreciation in your heart for the gift you’ve been given. Besides helping a person tune into an ecstatic feeling of gratitude, this method can also help a person become more aware and present in the eternal now.