Category Archives: Gratitude List

How to Really Enjoy the Holiday Season

Jonathan Robinson, Finding Happiness Posted on by

christmas-‘It was the week before Christmas and in my own house I was frantic and hurrying, and felt like a louse. That was five years ago. That day I vowed I would never again get sucked into the hyped up of “Christmas Spirit.” Instead of running around, fighting traffic, and losing my temper with store clerks, I decided I would do whatever it takes to really enjoy the holidays.  After all, it’s supposed to be a time of celebration and spiritual renewal.  Why not make it into one?  Of course, if you’re at all like I was, you’re going to have to change how you “do Christmas” if you ever hope to truly enjoy yourself.  I’ve found that four simple keys can help people turn their hurried Holidays into heavenly Holy days.

First, try to remember the original purpose of the Holiday Season. Can you remember a Christmas memory from your childhood that was filled with joy, comfort, and love?  That’s really what we all want to experience during the Holidays.  Yet, sometimes it seems we’re being led down a fast flowing river that only leads to stress, insecurity, and even sadness.  By having a clear picture of what a truly happy Holiday Season would be like, you have a fighting chance to create what you want.

XthmasOnce you have an idea of what you’d like to experience during the Holidays, your next step is to figure out creative ways to avoid what you don’t like about Christmas.  For example, if you don’t enjoy running around buying a lot of presents, then don’t.  Most people ask themselves the wrong question when it comes to planning their Christmas.  Subconsciously, they think, “What should I do now that it’s the Holiday Season?”  If you “should” all over yourself, you’ll never enjoy Christmas.  Instead, it’s better to ask yourself, “What would I love to do to spread joy and good cheer this time of year?”  Listen to your own unique answer to that question.  By following your heart, you’ll feel the joy of
Christmas, and enliven the Spirits of those you love.

A third way to keep the Spirit of the Holiday’s alive is to give a present to yourself.  I don’t mean another sweater or necktie.  I mean something that will help you to experience the joy, peace, and sacredness of life.   Last year, my partner and I spent three days in Yosemite in the middle of December.  Leaving the craziness of city life for the grandeur of nature was the best present possible for both of us.  This year we plan to go to a desert resort.  As we sink into a Jacuzzi bath while listening to Mozart, we’ll be sure to reminisce about the madness we left behind back home.  What would be some treat you could give to yourself that would add meaning, joy, and relaxation to your winter season?  Schedule it in now, before you get too swept up in the Christmas rush.

Lastly, to have a truly Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah

catsPlan ahead for something that you’d truly like to do.   If you’re not spending the Holidays with your family, call some friends and see if they’re available.  Perhaps you can create a meal together, play a fun board game such as Pictionary or Monopoly, or simply have a meaningful conversation.  In my book The Little Book of Big Questions, I offer readers over 200 questions that can spark lively conversations and help keep the Spirit of Christmas alive.

Perhaps around a Christmas dinner you can ask your friends and family questions such as:

  1. What’s your favorite Christmas (or Hanukah) memory?
  2. What was one of the most special moments you experienced this past year?
  3. What are you truly grateful for in your life right now?
  4. What was the worst Christmas gift you ever received?
  5. What gives you a real sense of joy in life?

Asking questions like these to those you love can help bring intimacy and a sense of the sacred back into the Holiday Season.  Your fondest Christmas memories are probably not of presents you’ve been given, but of the special times you’ve spent with people you cared about.  Having a really good conversation with a friend or family member can be one of the best “gifts” you ever receive.

Although advertisements try to convince us otherwise, the Holiday Season is not a time of ease and joy for most of us.  If you plan to have a good Christmas, you need to be deliberate about creating a sacred time with yourself and/or the people you care about.  By following your own heart, and keeping true to the original purpose of the Season, you can make this your best Holiday ever.

How to Pray Without Ceasing

Jonathan Robinson, Finding Happiness Posted on by

heartWith Thanksgiving upon us, I thought it was a good idea to blog about giving thanks and the power of gratitude.  In my book The Experience of God, I asked each of the forty well-known spiritual leaders I interviewed about their favorite method of feeling closer to their Creator.  While the range of responses was surprising, the answer I heard more than any other was that of focusing on feeling grateful to God throughout the day.  As Ram Dass put it, “Gratitude opens your heart, and opening your heart is a wonderful and easy way for God to slip in.”

In Western culture, we often think of prayer as asking God for something.  Yet, in many spiritual traditions, prayer is primarily considered a way of thanking God for the blessings in one’s life.  Many years ago, I received an important lesson about “thankfulness prayer” from a Native American medicine man named Bear.   As a condition of being interviewed about his life, Bear requested we meet at a location sacred to his tribe.  Once there, he suggested that both of us begin by offering up a prayer to the Great Spirit.  My simple prayer was that our time together be well spent, and that it would serve our becoming closer to God.  The bear began his prayer in his native tongue, as I listened patiently.  After ten minutes of listening to the sounds of his tribal language, I began getting impatient.  After twenty minutes of listening to his prayer, I was secretly irritated. While I grew restless, Bear looked like he was soaring as high as the eagles that flew overhead. Finally, after fifty minutes, Bear finished speaking his words of prayer.

Trying to hide my sense of irritation, I began my interview by asking Bear, “What did you pray for?”  Bear’s calm reply was, “In my tribe, we don’t pray for anything.  We give thanks for all that the Great Spirit has given us.  In my prayers, I simply thanked Spirit for everything I can see around me.  I gave thanks to each and every tree I can see from here, each rock, each squirrel, the sun, the clouds, my legs, my arms, each bird that flew by, each breath I took, until I was finally in full alignment with the Great Spirit.”  It was clear to me that this man really knew how to pray.

thanksFrom Bear’s inspiration and the wisdom of many others

I’ve interviewed, I began trying this new method of prayer.  To make this form of prayer in my daily life, I began by simply saying, “Thank you God for (whatever is in my awareness).”  Sometimes I would “prime the pump” by first thanking God for things that are easy for me to feel grateful for.  For example, I might say, “Thank you for my health.  Thank you for such a beautiful day.  Thank you for my wonderful wife.”  Then, once I truly felt a sense of gratitude in my heart, I would use “thank you” as a “mantra” for whatever I was currently aware of.  For instance, if I was driving somewhere I might say, “Thank you for my car, thank you for my Iphone, thank you for this beautiful music, thank you for this nicely paved road, thank you for the man that just cut me off, thank you for the anger that he stirred up in me, thank you for the opportunity to practice forgiveness.”

The secret of this technique is to see all things as gifts given to us by God to enjoy or learn from.  Normally, we take virtually everything for granted, and rarely stop to appreciate the wonderful things we are given.  It can be eye opening to realize that even middle class folks of today live better than Kings lived just 100 years ago.  Yet, without the “thank you technique,” all the amenities of modern day life can go unappreciated.

ThankfulOnce you have used this method for awhile, you can even use it to begin to value things that are unpleasant.  In the example above, getting cut off by an aggressive driver was not my idea of a good time.  Yet, if I’m doing my “thank you” mantra, I’m more likely to see how such an event can serve me.  From a higher state of mind, I can see that this driver is helping me learn patience, compassion, and forgiveness—three things I’m not very good at.  Fortunately, there are many drivers and people who are willing to help me learn this lesson!  Thank you God for all that help.

Like any mantra or phrase that a person repeats, repeatedly saying “thank you” can build up a momentum of its own as you use it throughout the day.  However, it’s important that it doesn’t become a mechanical mental exercise.  With each thank you that is thought, it’s essential to feel a sense of appreciation in your heart for the gift you’ve been given.  Besides helping a person tune into an ecstatic feeling of gratitude, this method can also help a person become more aware and present in the eternal now.