If you could create one change in your life, or you could have one wish fulfilled, what would it be? Knowing your burning desire is the first and most important step in creating a life that you love. Do you know what you’d do with being granted one wish to know anything, be anything, or do anything?
I recently asked people at a seminar I was teaching this question.
Here were a few of their answers:
1. I’d travel around the world for a year—all expenses paid.
2. I’d buy a house with the money I’d have from winning the lottery.
3. I’d wish to live in a continuous state of love and peace.
4. I’d wish that a perfect partner for me would enter my life.
5. I’d instantaneously lose 40 pounds.
Recently, I got totally lost while driving because I was out of cell phone range. I was disheartened to keep driving because I didn’t know if I was headed in the right direction. Finally, I asked at a gas station if I was on the right road. It ends up I wasn’t. I had gone ten miles out of the way. I felt bad for a moment learning I had gone the wrong way, but as I turned around I immediately felt better. At least now I knew how to get on the right road. This taught me you don’t have to wait till you get your wish granted to feel good. Just knowing you’re on the right road is immediately a great feeling.
The good news is that knowing what you’d wish for is the single most important step in having your wish be granted. Even moving slowly in the right direction is a lot better than not knowing what direction to head in. Often, people say to me, “But I don’t know what I really want!”
Well, here are three questions you can ask yourself to get a better idea of what you really, really want:
1. If you suddenly inherited 50 million dollars, what would you do with your time and money?
2. What would you do if you only had six months left to live?
3. What feelings would you hope to experience as a result of spending money or doing the things you’d do with 6 months left to live?
The key here is to be specific. For example, if I had endless wealth, I’d hire more help to take care of business stuff I don’t like to do. That would give me more time to spend in nature, meditation, and with friends and family I love. The feelings I’d hope to get from that would be deep peace, ecstasy, and a feeling of joyous connection. Therefore, what I’m really, really after are the feelings of deep peace, ecstasy and joyous connection. Having money, or being in nature, or meditating, or being with friends is just a method to get to those feelings I want. The problem for many people is that they have very inefficient methods or strategies to get to the feelings they most desire. Often people will work for years to get enough money to go to a beautiful beachside resort—in order to get to a feeling of relaxed peace. But it’s a lot more efficient (and less effort) if you know of a way to get to a feeling of relaxed peacefulness in your daily life—such as through meditation, prayer, or yoga.
So what are the feelings you most desire? Answer those three questions above and you will likely find out. Once you do that, make a list of at least five ways you can get more of those feelings in your life. For example, if you really want more love in your life, you might:
1. Get a dog or cat.
2. Get a book about how to create more intimacy and friends in your life.
3. Express more affection to the people in your life.
4. Schedule quality time to be with the people you care about.
5. Practice acts of kindness with your family, friends, and even strangers.
By having several easily accessible ways to bring more of the feelings you want in your life, you’ll feel more fulfilled. As you feel happier, you’ll also be helping your family and friends to be happier—because happiness is contagious. You need not wait until everything in your life is working out in order to feel good. If you make a list like the one I just suggested, you’ll have a lot of ways to immediately bring the feelings you want into your day to day life.